Men

I got this email from my mission team leader, as I read it I laughed until my bladder could not take it anymore....SO I thought what a great thing to pass on, so you can get a good laugh for the day. (WARNING: YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ SOME TRUTH...NOT THE WHOLE TRUTH)


Because I Am a Man"

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the
car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after
hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an
option. I will win.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running
very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the
engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another
man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I
used to be able to fix these things, but now with
all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know
where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers
and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need
someone to bring me soup and take care of me
while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You
never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no
problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be r elied upon to purchase
basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I
cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin"
or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances
stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite
evidence that this will just cost me twice as much
once the repair person gets here and has to put it
back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has
been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking
for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding
a calculator instead (applies to engineers only).

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what
I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either
sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up
something else when you ask, so just don't ask.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked
the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of
it, I didn't . . . and if you are feeling amorous afterwards . .
then I will certainly at least remember the name and
recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was
fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or
without it, looks fine.. It does not make your rear look
too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and Margaritas
that did that. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we
just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is after all, the year 2008,
I will share equally in the housework. You just do the
laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and
the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like wandering around
in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message to help
women to better understand men.