5,4,3,2,1,0

five more days, 5 more days....FIVE MORE DAYS!!!!

I leave for Uganda in five more days... Yes, I'm having a moment. 

I have never been without my kids for 18days, I haven't slept through the night in 8+ years, and I'm going to miss my husband more then I can swallow. 

My eyes as I write this are filling up tears, and and it feels like I can't breath.

The questions are...did you make the right choice...are you SURE you're not suppose to go back to Guatemala? What are you going to do on a mission trip without your sister to tell you what to do? Are my friends still going to be my friends when I get home...after the realize how loud I snore? Is this where God is pointing? And when is He going to answer me??????

I'll fill you in...I have this vision in my head. God is standing on a map, looking at me like He is waiting for me to do something. To put it this way....He is giving me THE LOOK. 

Jesus, yea He's standing behind me saying...are ya goona go? Then there is the Holy Spirit, holding my hand...saying I've got you, I will walk with you, I will protect you. But I'm stuck...I won't move without Tony. I won't move out of my own confusion. I don't want to walk on the journey without him. But the Holy Spirit keeps telling me..."I'v got you, and Tony is with you...he is in you".

So this questions....of where, when, how, and why.....ARE POUNDING IN MY HEAD!!!! and it won't stop.

I have talked to the Rev, and told him that I want to learn how to lead mission trips. I know some will think I just want to title, but the truth is...I want share with people the love of our Lord, and how in everyday situations there is so much more then what meets the eye. I want to be that strong woman of God that people can lean on...cry to...and I return offer them prayer and love. I get so excited when I see peoples faces light up when they see what their maker has done. I want to take young minds and hearts to the edge of the Earth. I want to serve my purpose, I want God to not only be standing on a map...but standing on the place He wants me to go next. There is nothing better then getting the honor to be God's hands and feet here on Earth. 

I could go on FOREVER so I'll stop.

The fact is....I leave in five days.....so if everyone could just pray. For the team, the children in Uganda, and most importantly our families that we leave behind. Pray that our children understand their mommy or daddy is severing a wonderful God.