Late last night as i was driving my children home, Avery started talking about things that she has obviously been holding on to for a while. She thinks everything through before she speaks, yes i realize i can learn alot from her. anyways...
she started talking about someone who has hurt our family deeply, and to her the things that this person has done are just unforgivable.
i took a deep DEEP breath and said crap (very loudly in my head). I too have been really REALLY....did i cover the really part? Struggling with forgiving someone who just seems to hurt me on a regular biases..... tony says that i give this person all the tools they need to keep doing this and maybe i should just walk away for a bit until it doesn't hurt so bad...yep i'm doing that but my face turn a number of shades of red...and its daily.
i found myself reminding her that before we can go to the Father and say "i'm sorry Lord, can you forgive me" that we have to forgive those who have wronged us. As you can imagine it felt like i was whipping myself with the whoppin spoon as we were talking.
avery-she said but momma, this person has stolen my trust. me-i know baby, and i know it will be hard to forgive them. but trust me baby...its so much harder staying mad it them.
3 comments:
"This person has stolen my trust" ... words no one should ever have to say. So painful. The only good thing is that if they work hard, trust can be regained.
Vicki ... who is working on trusting others AND being trustworthy ...
Alabama what I have learned over the past few years was whenever I remembered an action or a cruel word from the person who hurt me and the anger started to rise I would say
I hand (persons name) over to you Lord and I ask you to help me not to entertain the cruel words so that I may walk righteously today in your name.
Was it easy? Nope
but one day I suddenly realized I don't hurt anymore and that is when I decided I am no longer going to allow myself or others rob me of my joy.
"For I know the plans I have for you"
but they are not going to happen if we allow satan to run with our emotions. I often wonder what I have missed in the past 2 years because of my anger and then I stop and praise God for not only His timing but the wisdom He bestowed upon me during that time.
Avery has had to realize that not everything is forever.
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